How to move past stress
As students get further into the semester, they might feel pressure from all different directions. While it鈥檚 important to be aware of our responsibilities, encourage your student to also look out for their energy and well-being. Here鈥檚 how to help them move past stress.听
Reality checking
The first step is to become mindful of whatever听is causing those overwhelming feelings. Suggest your student try this simple strategy: write out a list of everything on their mind, like upcoming tests, projects, job stress or relationship issues. The act of getting the list onto paper lets them take a deep breath for a moment, knowing they can return to the list at any time. It also helps us work together to make an objective, mindful plan for moving forward.
Being mindful isn鈥檛 necessarily feeling calm or blissful鈥攔ather, it鈥檚 about being present and aware of what鈥檚 going on. Looking at their list, your student can become aware of how they鈥檙e feeling (anxious, tired, excited, etc.) and start to break things into smaller, more manageable pieces.
For example, if the most stressful item on the list is an assignment, check in about why it feels so daunting鈥攎aybe it feels like there鈥檚 too much to do and not enough time to do it. Once your student is aware of the source of their stress (the size of the project), help to break it up into smaller tasks. You can听recommend they go to office hours with a professor, do a听half an hour of research to start听or write an intro paragraph.
If the stressor is something like a fight with a friend, it鈥檚 good to acknowledge what we can and can鈥檛 do to make it better. Remind your student that in any relationship, we can reach out and arrange a time to talk things out, but that may mean things aren鈥檛 resolved for a few days. If they鈥檝e at least taken the first step, support them in taking a break from the issue until it鈥檚 time to address it with the friend.
Prioritizing needs
When we start feeling stressed, even the simple things can take a hit. The best way to minimize the impact of stress is by getting back on track. Check in with your student using听the HALT acronym: are they Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired? If so, these needs should be taken care of before anything else. Encourage them to do this check-in themselves!听
For example, if they鈥檙e hungry, putting off dinner to keep studying won鈥檛 help in the long run (and might make the last stretch of work unbearable). If they鈥檙e tired, they need to get sleep鈥攅ven if it means not finishing up an assignment until tomorrow. These basic needs are within their control, and taking care of them will not only help but听empower them to accomplish the other items on their list.听
Doing the next right thing
Sam Randall, program manager at the CU Collegiate Recovery Center (CUCRC), understands how things can pile up. When we鈥檙e looking at our list, or our minds are racing and we鈥檙e feeling overwhelmed, she advises focusing on the 鈥渘ext right thing.鈥 Talk this through with your student.
The 鈥渘ext right thing鈥 means looking at the situation they鈥檙e in and focusing on the next simple step that feels right for them. Sometimes it鈥檚 dealing with basic needs, like eating.听Other times it鈥檚 tackling the first item on the list, like emailing a professor. When we focus in, we can give our full attention and energy to taking that first step: doing the next right thing.
If the next right thing feels too hard to pin down, encourage them to check in again. What feels the most overwhelming? Can they break it down into pieces? Can wethey tackle any of it right now? Have they done a HALT check-in and taken care of those basic needs? Repeating this check-in process any time we feel stressed can help us identify the next right thing.听
Getting support
Everyone goes through periods of stress. If your student is interested in learning more about how to work with their mind and move forward, check out these free workshops from Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS).